


Tautology

by Sommersets



Category: South Park
Genre: College AU, Comedy, Humor, Love Confession, M/M, Romance, Secret Crush, clyde humble brags about craig's magic dick to be a bro, holiday party, really mind-crushingly dumb jokes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-30
Updated: 2018-12-30
Packaged: 2019-09-30 08:11:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,042
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17220206
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sommersets/pseuds/Sommersets
Summary: Drabble written for Cryde Week day 5 prompt, Holiday.Clyde's been spewing some nonsense about his best friend's bedroom game and Craig feels it’s finally time to confront his secret crush.





	Tautology

"Who would win in a fight—one trillion lions or the sun?" Clyde asked, disregarding all logical sense. Craig wanted to know how Clyde’s mind worked on a functional level, because there was the Clyde Donovan that aced his astronomy finals while Craig struggled with solving sections with physics problems and then, there was _this_ . Sensing that Craig was going to give him an earful for asking, Clyde didn't give him a chance to respond.  
  
"The answer is—of course, one trillion lions, because they can just go ambush the sun at night and win." The brunet looked pleased with himself for coming to this conclusion.

  
Craig wondered who was the dumber one out of the two of them. Was it Clyde, for debating a hypothetical match-up between lions and the sun like it was the greatest philosophical question of all time? Or was it him, for being so hopelessly in love with his own best friend?    
  
"Right," Craig replied, not bothering to argue with him. He was more than slightly inebriated. The more he drank, the more he could tolerate Clyde’s inane ramblings on how to plausibly launch a fleet of one trillion lions into space.  
  
He let the sounds of Clyde’s familiar and soothing voice fill his ears as he drained the plastic cup in his hand.  
  
"Are you even listening?" Clyde huffed, feeling ignored. He was listening, but just not in the conventional sense that Clyde was expecting. Craig was focused in on just the sound of the brunet’s voice, without processing the meaning behind his words.  
  
“Yeah.” Craig replied.

 

Clyde’s face broke into a smile because all he needed in life was his best friend’s assurance.

 

“Okay, okay, I got a new question for you. A stick versus one thousand US Marines. Who would win?”  
  
Craig decided to play along this time. He had the right amount of alcohol in his system for that.

  
“The stick would win.”  
  
“Elaborate.” Clyde’s dashing smile was illuminated by the overhead lighting and suddenly, it was all he could see.

 

“If you break the stick, you’d have two sticks…” Craig mused. “Ergo, Sticks win every time.”

 

“Exactly!” Clyde’s doe-like brown eyes brimmed with pride. “Seems like I taught you well.”

 

They stood around for a while longer, discussing football and the new games they picked up from the Steam Christmas sales before Clyde eventually drifted off by himself, presumably to refill his drink and harass other people.

  
Around fifteen minutes later, Craig spotted Kyle dragging his unwilling best friend across the floor of Token’s party. The red-head stopped in front of him and frowned slightly.

 

“We need to talk about Clyde. Do you know what he’s been saying to people?”

 

Craig shook his head. Beyond asking them the same set of questions that he was drilled on, he had no idea what Clyde was up to.

 

“Look, he... “ Kyle bit his lip. “He’s been trying to set the two of us up together. He’s telling everyone that you have a magical dick.” Kyle paused, looking down at the floor so that his red curls obscured his face. “And that it would cure my hemorrhoids.”

 

 _God, Clyde._ Craig sighed. The brunet couldn’t be more dense when it came to understanding his true feelings.

 

That explained why Stan looked like he was about to fight him at any moment. Craig noticed how close they were standing next to each other. Stan and Kyle were always attached at the hip but this was a whole new level of invading each other’s personal space.

 

“Anyway…” Kyle placed a hand on Stan’s shoulder to calm him down. “It’s kind of embarrassing. Can you tell him to stop?”

 

“Ay! Quit spreading the gay agenda!” Cartman yelled snarkily from across the room, interrupting their conversation. “You gay-wads trying for converts?” Kyle threw up a rude hand gesture in response.

 

Craig blinked as he put the two and two together. Stan and Kyle were _together_ , in the couple sense. It was no wonder he couldn’t have a normal conversation with Stan without him flipping out. Clyde had been slowly poisoning that relationship, by making it seem like he wanted Kyle. He was so wrong about that. Craig made a promise to them that he would set the record straight with Clyde. The red-head seemed placated by this and dragged his boyfriend back to the dance floor.

  
Meanwhile, Craig sought out his best friend to set things right.

 

“Clyde…” Craig finally confronted him at the kitchen counter. “Stop spreading rumors.”  Seriously, how could he vouch for his ‘magical dick’ if he’d never even had it?

 

“I don’t want to date Kyle. I want to date you.”

 

Clyde was caught off guard for a moment at the confession, and Craig was too, even though the words came directly from his lips. But, he was surprised for only a moment. There was no more hesitation as Clyde leaned forwards into him.

  
Senseless was how he felt, the moment those soft lips were pressed against his own. He could smell the faint scent of alcohol on Clyde’s breath. He must have been drinking to gain the courage to do this.  
  
"I — " Clyde was the first one to break away, afraid of how Craig might react. "I’ve always liked you."  
  
The words hung in the open air, waiting to be reciprocated.  
  
“Me too.” Craig released the breath that he had been holding in for some time. He tilted his head into the kiss, picking up from where they left off. This time their kiss was long and drawn out. His lips felt swollen as he pulled away, and his heart racing. “But I have to ask — _why_ did you go around saying shit if… you know.”

 

Clyde pulled away, eyes darting about for something, _anything_ , to allow him an extra moment to bide his time. That came in the form of a plate of pizza rolls, and after grabbing a handful and unceremoniously shoving them into his mouth, he shrugged. That was as much of an answer as he was going to get for now, Craig realized… but he’d get his answer later.

  
For now, he was satisfied with the almost _giddy_ feeling bubbling within him, and the lingering feeling of Clyde’s lips on his.

**Author's Note:**

> A huge thanks to @guineaDogs for the beta! 
> 
> This is the first time I’ve written Cryde. I tried my best, and I hope their characterizations/dynamics are not entirely off. I have a lot of love both Clyde Donovan and Craig Tucker and I wanted to see if I could pull off Cryde in time for Cryde week.


End file.
